Insert Title Here
by Brooklyn1994
Summary: Alice Brandon is a 21 year old who lives in a crappy apartment and drives a junky car. She works at the town's Subshoppe and hates her life. What will she do when she lays eyes on the sophisticated Bella Swan? Will she ever be good enough? Will she even catch Bella's eye? I guess you'll have to read and find out... All human.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Alice! What on earth is taking you so long to get that bread out of the oven? We have customers waiting on their sandwiches! So help me God, I will fire your-," before Francis, my boss, could finish her threat, I rushed past her with an over-flowing tray of hot bread. The funny thing is that, I know full well that I am as clumsy as a drunk person who is hobbling around on crutches. So, here I am, full pan of bread, hustling up front. Well, I'm sure you can just about guess what happens. A fucking uplifted tile, that I have face-planted before because of, caught the toe of my shoe. In that moment, when I landed in a heap of freshly cooked bread on the floor, I was sure that I just needed to drown myself in my bathtub tonight. Seriously. I cannot do anything right, ever.

"Son-of-a-," My cursing was cut off by a shrill scream from my boss. I cringed and covered my face, knowing what was coming next.

"Alice! Get in my office, now! You, new-person, clean this mess up, NOW!" Francis roared. Slowly, just in case Francis happened to be packin' a nine in her over-sized, baggy pants, I got off the floor and sauntered into her office, throwing myself into the chair that was situated across from her's with a desk set between them. I heard her clomping footsteps coming down the hallway and I pulled up my legs and wrapped my arms around them, staring at my chucks.

"I, I just, I don't know what to do with you, Alice. I can't exactly fire you for tripping, but Jesus Christ! It happens all the time! How can someone be so fucking clumsy?" Francis' words spewed out in a quiet but menacingly way. I took a deep breath, trying to find some sort of way, some sort of explanation that could save the only job that I have. The job that pays for the shitty apartment I live in and the POS junker Toyota Camry I drive. But no words came forth. I froze up and continued staring at my shoes.

"Alice, I'm not going to fire you, but please, I beg of you, do not, and I will repeat, do not rush those incapable little legs of yours in my restaurant again. Or, I will fire you for not adhering to the safety rules of this establishment. Do I make myself completely clear?" Francis asked me in her annoying deep voice. I'm sorry, but a woman should not have that deep of a voice. She must be some kind of cross dresser? That would explain the baggy pants! Aha! Alice you have done it again!

The loud sound of Francis' hand slamming down on her desk broke me out of my daze. I nodded at her furiously and jumped out of my chair, walking slowly to the door, just to prove that I was going to listen to her about not rushing anymore. I need this fucking shitty, minimum wage job. Without it, a box would be my only choice of living arrangement. Shaking my head, I walked up front to help out the new girl who was running around rampantly, trying to keep up with the flow of business. I scanned the lobby for Jonah, but I couldn't find the mousy bastard anywhere.

"Angela, where is Jonah?" I asked in a neutral tone, jumping in to help her. "Hello, what would you like?" The customer looked startled at my sudden appearance. I chuckled lightly at her momentary disorientation.

"A six inch, chicken-bacon-ranch on flatbread , please. American cheese. Oh! Toast that as well," the woman requested. I nodded with a smile and went about preparing her sandwich. After placing the sub in the toasting oven, I looked at Angela in expectation.

"Well, where is Jonah?"

"Oh, um, well, there was this-" Angela started to mumble. I cut her off.

"Where is the little bastard?" I asked in annoyance, utterly sick of Jonah disappearing while on the clock and leaving people to their own devices during a rush. Angela gulped before answering me.

"He's out by the dumpsters. Probably smoking," she said, nervously. Just then I heard the backdoor open and the rumble of the trash bin. Jonah smiled hugely at me when he walked up front and started to wash his hands at the sink.

"Did you have a nice trip before?" Jonah asked with a smug grin. I'm sure that he meant his scrunched up facial expression to be, I don't know, attractive, but I thought it was downright hideous. Jonah is one of those pieces of shit who walk around like the world owes them everything and a half. I thoroughly dislike the moron.

"Oh not as much as I will like the trip that my fist takes through the air to collide with your ugly ass mug! Get fucked, Jonah," I whispered vehemently into his face so the customer waiting on her sub wouldn't hear. Jonah laughed loudly into my face and squished his lips together to make a kissy face at me.

"Come 'ere, Baby, I will make all that pent up sexual tension go away. I know you ain't ever been laid," he whispered back. I could smell the smoke on his breath. With a look of disgust I turned on my heel and moved away from the atrocity. Just then the beeper went off on the toaster, signaling that the sub was finished. I quickly retrieved it and placed it back on the sub-bar.

"Any veggies?" I asked the woman, looking at her for the first time. She didn't answer me right away, too wrapped up in her Blackberry to hear what I said. Her brownish-red hair was draped in front of her face because she was hunched over her phone. The woman was tall and had a very fit body. She wore a nicely tailored woman-suit, or whatever you call 'em and closed toed high-heels.

Suddenly, her head snapped up in recognition of the question that I had asked her moments ago. Our eyes met and I immediately was swallowed up in her dark brown eyes, they were almost black. My breath caught in my throat before I realized I was being a stalkerish moron just staring at her and pulled my lips into a smile while raising my left eyebrow in question.

"Uh, what? I'm sorry," the woman said, apologetically. I waved my hand at her and shook my head.

"No worries, ma'am. Any veggies on your sub?" I repeated the question in a cheerful voice, still fighting to keep my breath steady when she smiled hugely and flashed her white teeth at me. Oh, fucking dammit, she's so beautiful.

"Ugh, well, I think I will have some pickles, lettuce, and onion. Go light on the mayo and ranch though," she answered finally. I started to fill her sub with the appropriate ingredients and was aware that she was watching me. Her teeth were biting her lip slightly and she was tapping her fingers against the side of her phone, which she held by her right thigh.

When I finished her sub, I wrapped it quickly and rung up her order in the register.

"Four-fifty, please," I said in an even tone, trying to remain calm while this beautiful woman opened her wallet and rummaged through the pile of cash she had stuffed in there.

"Can you break a hundred?" she asked with an embarrassed smile. Her cheeks flushed a light pink and I smiled involuntarily.

"Sure can!" I said with a little too much enthusiasm. I internally punched myself in the face for sounding like such a fucking idiot. My God, no wonder I don't have a girlfriend. I'm a moron.

"Okay," she said, handing me the bill. I grabbed it and accidentally brushed her finger tips. Tingles streamed through my fingers and traveled up my arm. I couldn't stop the quiet gasp that escaped my lips. I instantly coughed into my elbow to cover up my dumbass. Jonah was laughing behind me and Angela was leaning against the sub-bar, watching "nonchalantly" as I made a complete and utter fool out of myself. This woman made me fumble more than normal and I had to recount her cash three times to make sure I hadn't messed it up. Oh my, I need to be fucking shot. Where is Francis when you need her?

"Um, well, here you go! Enjoy the, uh, the rest of your night, yeah," I said, all the while dying a little more inside with each horribly delivered word.

"I will, you too, Alice," she said. I was momentarily caught off guard that she knew my name, but then my slow-ass brain finally comprehended that I was wearing a name-tag. Oh my God, duh.

"Thanks-?" I made it sound like a question, trying to get her to disclose her name. I cheered inwardly when my stealthyness worked.

"Bella," she informed me. Then with a graceful turn, she walked through the restaurant, through the doors, and into the gleaming black Mercedes Benz that she drives. I will openly admit, I totally checked out that ass.

"Wow, Alice, you really outdid yourself there. I mean, she was swooning there at the end. I totally thought she was going to jump over the counter and dyke fuck you right there on the sub-bar," scoffed Jonah. He was leaned over, laughing his nonexistent ass off at my supposed hilarity. Angela shook her head slowly before adding, "Jonah, be nice. If I were, you know, gayyy," she drew out the word "gay" like she were tasting it on her tongue for the first time. "I would have been totally enthralled by that woman. So, Jonah, shut up!" Angela finished her sentence with a huff and quickly moved to grab the broom and furiously sweep the lobby. Angela was still relatively new, but I was still taken aback by the, by her standards, "outburst". She was usually so quiet and neutral on everything. I couldn't believe that she stood up for me, not that I needed it or anything. Jonah is just an idiot. I don't give a flying fuck what he says.

"Let's get this shithole closed up for the night. I want to get home," I jumped when Francis was suddenly behind me. I nodded and moved away from her quickly, but not too quickly to be unsafe, and started packing up the sub-bar. Jonah, being the ever so helpful person he was, leaned against the soda machine and pulled out his phone. Francis threw up her hands in annoyance and stalked back into her office. I sighed deeply and got to work. The faster I finished, the faster I got to go home to my empty, shithole apartment.

~!~

After we finally finished closing, I threw on my jacket and walked outside into the brisk October night. I pulled out my pack of cigarettes and lit one up. Leaning against my car door, I inhaled deeply and looked up into the cloudy sky, honestly surprised it wasn't raining in the moist town of Forks, Washington. The wettest city you'll ever see. I chucked darkly to myself at my inner thoughts. My eyes followed Jonah as he jumped on his beaten up motorcycle and sped away, without a helmet on, mind you. Angela shook her head at him and walked over by me.

"I swear, if you look up idiot-moron-dipshit, you'll find his face plastered all up and down that fucking page," Angela said in an annoyed tone. I almost chocked on my own spit when I heard that come out of her mouth. She surveyed me questioningly. "What? Don't agree?"

"I fucking say "here, here" to that, but I never knew you could shell out an insult of that caliber. I had you pinned as a quiet person who felt bad for saying "damn" on Sundays," I answered. Angela chuckled at my misinterpretation and pulled out her own pack of smokes and lit up.

"You're twenty-one, right?" Angela asked after a couple minutes of silence between us. I simply nodded.

"Want to get a drink or something? I don't want to go home to my drugged up, piece of shit husband quite yet," I nodded again, surprised at the small glimpse that Angela gave me into her life. She was married? I hadn't noticed the small gold band on her ring finger before. Her husband is a druggie? What. The. Fuck. You think you have someone pegged, turns out, you're an even bigger dumbass than you thought.

"Let's go. I need some, 'I don't remember what happened last night, but all I know is my head feels like a bus ran over it', kind of fun," Angela smiled at me and walked around to my passenger door, opened it, and climbed in. I flicked my cigarette to the ground and followed suit.

**A/N: Okay, stop yelling! I know I haven't updated "An Epic Twilight" in awhile, but I suddenly got the inspiration write this, so, um, deal with it? Mkay. Well, here's the first chapter of "Insert Title Here". I apologize for the swearing, but oh well, there will be a lot in this story. I hope you enjoyed. 5 reviews and I will post another chapter. **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I woke up with a start. The sound of a deep male voice cussing and pans crashing around in my kitchen pulled me from the blissful numbness of sleep. Sighing deeply, I threw my blankets off of my body and sat up-right in bed. I was immediately sorry for how fast I moved because a painful pounding started in my head. Oh yeah, my dumbass was out until 4am getting completely trashed at the bar. I had to call my brother, Emmett, to come pick me up. That would explain the obnoxious noises coming from the kitchen. Emmett certainly did NOT have the gift of being quiet. He was a loud mother-fucker, but I loved him anyways. I mean, he is my brother.

"GOOD MORNING, ALICE!"

Speak of the fucking devil… Emmett came crashing through the hallway, his feet clomping hard on the wood flooring. He dove from the doorway of my room and landed on my bed, pulling me into a breath-takingly tight hug. I was just about to clock the idiot, but then I caught sight of that contagious smile he has and laughter bubbled up from my chest.

"Morning, Emmett. You didn't destroy my kitchen too horribly, did you?" I asked cautiously, scared of the answer. Emmett laughed loudly and shook his head, releasing me from his steel grip.

"Nah, Sis. I would never. Simply made you breakfast is all," Emmett replied in his deep voice, visibly trying to keep a straight face. I sighed deeply for the second time this morning and got out of bed, ready to face the shitty day that was to come.

"Emmett, I swear, if that kitchen is trashed, I'll punch you in your face and throw you out of my house," I said, trying to hold in more laughter. It was utterly impossible to be mad at my brother.

"I promise, Alice," he said in an innocent tone. Placing a hand over his heart, Emmett tried to seem like he would never do such a thing. I shook my head and walked out of my room into the hallway. The air smelled like bacon and I grinned widely when I walked into the kitchen and spotted two plates heaping with eggs, bacon, and buttered toast.

"Oh, Emmett, you truly are heaven sent," I said in a cheerful tone. My cranky morning attitude completely forgotten once I had my first bite of eggs. Just what I needed. My brother might act like a two-year-old, but he was still a great cook. I know, I know. Eggs and bacon are quite the elementary dish, but when Emmett really tries, he can make pretty much anything. That skill-he got from Mom. That lady was the best cook in the whole town and Emmett learned all he knew from her.

"Well, from the looks of you last night, meaning how completely drunk you were, I knew you would need a pick-me-up this morning. And what's better than a huge plate of bacon and eggs cooked by yours truly?" Emmett said with a smile. I punched him lightly in the arm with the hand that wasn't busy shoveling food into my awaiting gullet. Suddenly, I realized that Emmett had poured me a glass of milk- no can of Mountain Dew in sight. I trotted over to the fridge and grabbed a can out of the door.

"I never knew Angela would be that fun. For a while, at work, she seemed quiet and distant. Then, she's dancing on the bar at Sully's," I laughed before taking a long gulp of Mountain Dew. Emmett's eyes narrowly hatefully on my beloved beverage.

"Alice, you need to stop drinking that stuff. It will-"

I cut him off, "Rot my teeth? Emmett! I don't even have a cavity!"

"Well, be assured that I will be checking very thoroughly on your next visit then, eh?" Emmett said with a flash of his bright white teeth. My brother, the dentist. I had always hoped he would do something along the lines of being a chef or opening his own restaurant, but the weirdo always wanted to be a dentist. I remember him begging "Santa" for the latest dentist toy set at Christmas time.

"I know you really want to take a drill to my teeth, but I make sure to take very good care of them to avoid having you come close to me with that thing," I said with a chuckle. Emmett opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue that was full of chewed eggs and spit. Yum. I threw my balled-up napkin at his face and it hit him directly on the tongue. HAHA! Score one for Alice! Emmett swatted at the air, his reaction time seriously lacking, and managed to knock over his glass of milk. The liquid spread out over the table and spilled out onto the floor. Laughter started to choke me when I saw the look on his face. I had to literally concentrate on safely swallowing my food before the bellowing laughter ensued.

"Alice, you're a bitch! Look at my pants! I have to work in an hour!" Emmett yelled, trying to keep a straight face. I don't know if he was trying to make me feel guilty? Offer him help to clean up? Ha! Yeah right.

"Emmett, you're the dumbass that knocked the shit over. I swear to God, I have no clue how you played football with the reaction time of a paper napkin," I replied, playfully teasing him. Here's the thing about my brother and I. We shout, swear, punch, and gouge each other, but we still have a great relationship. Emmett is the only person that I can count on for absolutely everything. He's my best friend. I have another brother, Edward, who pretty much keeps to himself and plays music all day in his apartment that is even smaller than mine. He doesn't work, just "jams" out all day. My parents constantly sneak money to Edward in order to check up on him, just to make sure we don't read in the newspaper one day that Edward was found dead, overdosed on crack, clutching his guitar. Now, I don't know for sure that the idiot is on crack, but I would assume that it is some sort of drug. Last year at Christmas was the last time I saw him and he looked thin, ashen, and his hands shook a lot. God, I care about him, I really do, but sometimes a person is just completely helpless because they don't want to be helped. My parents have tried to get him to go home and start college, build a life and set out on his own again. But every time they offer, Edward flips them off or cusses them out and saunters away, slamming whatever door he comes into contact with.

Sometimes I wish I could just forget about him, pretend he never existed, but he is my brother and I love him. Hell, I have even given the bastard money and I am poor as fuck. I know, I never went to college either, never got a degree, but that doesn't mean that I can't find a good job eventually and make it out of this shithole. The only reason I still live in Forks is because I can't afford to leave. Would I like to own a huge mansion like my parents and be hot-shot doctors? Sure. But will it ever happen? NO. See, unlike my brothers, I was born with ADD. I can't concentrate on anything for very long. Reading books is impossible for me. Like the dog in the movie "UP", where he's randomly like, "SQUIRREL!" Yeah, that's me. Like just now, Emmett just spilled a shit-ton of milk all over my table and floor and I've been sitting here daydreaming about my brother and how poor I am. Jesus.

"Some help here, Alice? Snap out of it, shorty! I need a towel or something!"When Emmett's deep voice resounded in my mind, I snapped out of my daze and hurried to the linen closet to grab a couple of towels. Emmett was dabbing up the mess on the table with a couple of napkins that were in the holder on the table.

"Here, sorry, I guess I'm out of it today, eh?" I said in a joking voice, knowing that the reason that I am always sort of out of it is because of my ADD. Which reminds me, I have to take my pill.

"Yeah, well, that's just you, Alice. I mean, if you didn't randomly switch from conversation to conversation and shit like that, it wouldn't be you," Emmett said, chuckling lightly at his words. I snorted and punched him in the arm again and then began to dab up the spilled milk that soiled the floor.

"Sometimes I wish I could concentrate on something, but then I realize that I forgot to get my mail on my way up the steps," I joked, starting to laugh. Emmett's laughter trumped mine and echoed off the walls. He shook his head at me and finished cleaning off the table. Setting the dishes in the sink, Emmett grabbed his jacket from the hook by the door and put it on.

"Sorry to leave you with the dishes, Sis, but I have to go home and change these pants. I don't want my clients wondering why I smell like rotten milk," I waved to him as he opened the door and quickly stepped out into the hall.

After I finally finished up mopping the floor and cleaning up the couple of dishes in the sink, I grabbed my unfinished can of Mountain Dew and headed out onto the balcony that connected to my living room with a sliding glass door. This apartment was a piece of shit with the gross carpets, cramped space, almost broken appliances, and that one faint smell of cat urine that I could never quite get rid of. But the one thing I really liked about the place was that it had a balcony with a roof over it. In Forks it was always rainy and disgusting outside, so it was nice that whoever decided to build this place thought of that tiny detail that would make my smoking experience a smidge better.

I pulled my crumpled pack out of the pocket of my sweatpants and grabbed a cigarette, placing it between my lips. Then, I reached into that same pocket and retrieved my Zippo to light my smoke. Inhaling deeply, I let my mind wander to the events of yesterday. I stopped breathing for a moment when I remembered the girl that had come into the Sub Shoppe yesterday… Bella. Yes, Bella! This Bella woman had been nothing short of extraordinary. Her eyes- deep pools of swirling caramel and chocolate. Her hair! Her teeth! Everything about the woman was unnaturally beautiful. I mean, seriously? How could a human being be so inhumanly beautiful? Words could never do her justice, and I'm too shitty at descriptive language to even attempt.

I shook my head, trying to clear my mind of the confusing, but not unpleasant thoughts. Here I was, creepily thinking about some innocent woman that is probably married and not interested in some poor-ass bitch that still eats pop-tarts for breakfast when her brother doesn't cook for her. Ugggghhhh. I need to get some self-confidence. But hey, I can't argue with the truth. I'm nothing. And yesterday when I saw Bella, she was slinging hundred dollar bills out of her wallet like LilWayne! I'm absolutely positive I wouldn't have a chance in hell with her, much less see her again. Someone like Bella has to live in fucking L.A. or some other big ass city that a person like me could never dream of visiting.

Shaking my head, severly disappointed with myself for my lack of confidence, I flicked my cigarette of the balcony and headed back inside. I plopped my ass on my cheap couch and grabbed a PS3 controller off of my coffee table, ready to lose myself in some blood and gore action before showering and getting ready for work. Suddenly, my phone started vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw Angela's face, a drunk photo of her from last night, on my screen. I swiped my finger across the screen to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bitch. What are you doing? I'm hung-over as fuck,"

"Just sitting here, going to play some videogames,"

"Well, I'm coming over. If I have to spend one more minute listening to my dumbass husband playing the piano, high off his ass, I will jump out of fucking window," Angela said, completely emotionless.

"Sure, Ang. Come on over,"

"Thanks, Bells. I'm bringing some cheesy popcorn and skittles, FYI," Angela said, cheering up a little.

"Sounds like my kind of party! Hurry up and get that Asian ass over here! I'm bored!"

"Mkay!" Angela said before hanging up.

**A/N: Sorry about the delay on the update. I have a busy life, you know, so it takes me longer than the average person to update, lol. Anyways, hope you enjoyed meeting Emmett and learning about Edward. Oh! And you found out that Alice has ADD! That would sure explain why she is so jumpy and crazy all the time. Although, my Alice character is a lot like an average Bella character. I thought it would be fun to switch the roles around and add my own twist. :P Review…or else!**


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